A story that is often used to illustrate this point derives from the Indian tradition of Buddhism. A mother and daughter were once taking a pleasant walk along the banks of the river Ganges when it was in full spate. The mother slipped and fell into the water, whereby she was carried off by the current. Without hesitation, and despite being unable to swim, the daughter leaped into the river to save her mother. Then the thoughts uppermost on both of their minds were complete lack of concern for themselves and utter concern for the safety of each other. Now the tragedy is that both of them drowned. But the reward from that positive feeling with which they died is that they were both reborn in the gods' realm of conditioned existence. Therefore, Buddhists use this story to illustrate the power of such positive attitudes, which extends beyond the context of this life into the next.
When we define these attitudes as the four immeasurable attitudes, we add a whole transcendent or spiritual dimension that goes beyond what is simply of this world and this life of conditioned existence, all the way to the attainment of the enlightened goal Buddhists call nirvana.

---

When the way in which we feel our love, our compassion, our joy, and our equanimity towards others is of such a nature that it contributes to our attainment of the enlightened state, then we are talking about immeasurable love, immeasurable compassion, immeasurable joy, and immeasurable equanimity. Why? This is so because the scope of our altruism as seen in this context is far greater, as immeasurable love embraces all beings, infinite in number and equal to the limits of space itself. When all beings, without exception, are the objects of our love, just as their numbers are immeasurable, so also is our love immeasurable. Likewise, the result to which this leads us is just as immeasurable; it is complete liberation of the mind from the whole cycle of conditioned existence.
Even when we discuss immeasurable love, compassion, and so on, we can characterize these qualities by making yet a further distinction. From the point of view of the Buddhist teachings, first we can talk about an enormous scope. Second, we can talk about the scope that is so enormous, it is completely non-referential and unconditional, and upon which we simply cannot impose any boundary or limit whatsoever.
So how do we begin the process by which we can go beyond a biased approach towards others, and thereby really begin to cultivate these four immeasurable attitudes in meditation? This is not something abstract, but is the cultivation of an experiential feeling towards others which must tie in with our direct experience.

---

In order to cultivate this enormous scope of love towards each and every being in the universe, we must first recognize the connection we have with all that lives. From the viewpoint of the Buddhist teachings, there never has been a beginning to this cycle of rebirth it is beginningless. When we recognize the infinite number of rebirths we have undergone, and the infinite number of beings cycling in samsara, it stands to reason that in one lifetime or another every one of these beings has been our parent. In fact, any given being has been any number of things for us in any number of lifetimes—sometimes a friend, sometimes an enemy, sometimes a parent, sometimes a child, and so on. The point the teachings emphasize, and what is useful to focus upon, is the connection each of us has with all beings who have been our parents and have served that vital role for us (at one time or another throughout countless lifetimes).
It is true that in our immediate experience we have a variety of kinds of connections with other beings. Some of them are hostile connections with those who seem to be our enemies; some are benevolent connections with those who seem to be our friends and allies; and, there are vast numbers of beings to whom we are completely indifferent because we know nothing about them. While on a practical level we may have these sorts of feelings, the important thing to emphasize is that in order to develop the truly immeasurable sense of love, we need to shift our focus away from the point of view of attachment, aversion, and apathy—those emotionally skewed responses which are our habitual ways of relating to those around us.
Instead, we need to respond to all beings in an equal fashion, in some manner that equalizes the relationship each of us has with all of them. That is why as Buddhists we emphasize the fact that each one of these beings has been our father or mother and has been of enormous benefit to us in some lifetime. With this recognition then, from our hearts we can truly wonder, "Why shouldn't they be happy? Wouldn't it be wonderful if they, too, were happy? Wouldn't it be marvelous if they were free from suffering?" When we no longer harbor any sense of jealousy or competitiveness, such as wanting our own happiness to be slightly better or greater than that of others, we can cultivate a sense of joy. We can simply rejoice in the fact that others are free from suffering and are experiencing happiness completely. Then we have equanimity in our feelings towards others in all situations because the usual attachments and aversions, likes and dislikes, are not holding sway.

---

When we actually cultivate these four immeasurable attitudes as part of our spiritual practice, we change the order in which we approach them. Instead of beginning with love, the first immeasurable, it is important that we begin with the cultivation of equanimity. Otherwise, if we have not thoroughly trained our minds according to that equanimous perspective, the love and compassion we begin to arouse falls into the biased, limited approach we are so used to taking. That is our habit and it does not lead to liberation, but only to the better things in this life and in this cycle of existence. More